[attr="class","APP3"]Sometimes you may feel the site isn't right for you, and that's okay. If you have a rank claim and know that you aren't intending to come back we would appreciate a heads up so that others can have an opporitunity to take a rank claim. By surrendering your rank claim character by posting here I promise you two things...
1. No awkward conversation trying to retain you. We respect your decision. If you are on the fence about leaving because something is bothering you we are always willing to talk to you should you engage us.
2. We will not take the drop into account for future rank claims should you change your mind and return. Normally, those who have a history of coming in and out may be denied claims because if they leave again it could leave a position unplayed for a month or two. By surrendering the claim in a timely manner it eliminates us wondering if you are just busy or if you have left.
Per discord discussion, an ammendment was made to this character to remove active sharingan and replace it with dormant ranton as a one time exception.
Looking better, last thing is just that the sharingan proficiency needs adjusted down to rookie. Also this is optional and not really part of the app process, but if you happen to have a reference to some art of what Noriyuki's dad looked like you should send that to me in a PM for... reasons ^_^
I enjoyed the first person format. I was iffy on the detailing on the wind release, but by that level you can perform many jutsu in well rounded fashion. Just keep in mind manipulations that would affect a city block wouldn't be possible at this level, but I could see a small cyclone like what is depicted in the art you have above as being possible.
Taijutsu- this description is closer to rookie. Journeyman is like olympian level martial artist so he can be pretty competent as an apprentice as long as he isn't getting to close to that.
The next one is my fault because I probably need to update the puppetry entry. I'd like a listing of how many puppets he can control at once (probably about one regular puppet or perhaps two kunai around this level). I'd also like entries on the puppets he may have in his arsenal.
Equipment entries look simething like
Puppetry [Apprentice] Information about puppet use goes here, things like how many at a time, etc. ↳First Puppet This is a description of the capabilities of the first puppet. ↳Second Puppet This is a description of the capabilities of the first puppet.
You can alternatly just go with paragraph form instead of using the markup I provided. Just need to know what his current puppet(s) can do, which can be improved as he ranks the skill up later.
Hey there, welcome to RS! The only thing we want to clear up is the history. Konoha was destroyed 70 years ago, predating his birth. I thought maybe you were going for like a second hand knowledge from his father sort of thing, but if his mother would have died during the rise of the Empire then Chinetsu would have had to have existed by then.
I can tell that war shaping Chinetsu is a theme you want. One thing that comes to mind is the war in the Land of Whirlpools between Kumo & Kiri briefly mentioned here from 15 to 10 years ago. I think there would be room for your father to have history doing battle with the empire trying to retake lost lands of his childhood though. Some Konoha affiliated shinobi have tried since the fall to get groups together to fight them. If none of this works for you and you're stumped on getting the feel you want send me a message in discord and I'll try to help you work something out on it.
Just in case I remember earlier advanced release was something you were thinking about, just wanted to make sure you were deciding against it because it is something that must be taken as a dormant on character creation to get later.
With the ninjutsu both raiton and medical I'd like to see a bit of detail on capabilities and limitations. I don't need specific jutsu but things like "Chinetsu is able to manipulate small bolts of lightning within a short range" or "Is able to treat minor injuries with chakra" would be good additions (those are generic examples, you have leeway to be creative in capabilities/limits).
I like Chinetsu, we just need those adjustments and you should be all set.
Everything is acceptable but the smallest hair out of place. With suiton there is a mention of being able to walk the surface of water better than a fresh academy student. On this site we've made an adjustment and suiton users are the only people able to walk on water, so the average academy person wouldn't have the ability. I'd like to see it as more of a difficult thing for her to do at this rank, and next rank she can really have it down effortlessly.
You can reply to this message after the correction is made and you should be all set.
