Thoughts are a dangerous thing especially when you consider yourself a lesser being. This was Bashira's case and nothing anyone could say would change her mind. She was just a product of The Hyuga heritage and now her father was beating it into her head. She was never going to advance past her placement and that looking after snot nosed kids was her destiny. Her siblings had long proven to the man that reeked of spite and malice that their eldest sister was inferior. At least in his eyes, she had praise from others but names and faces blurred as she wandered aimlessly. Waves and greetings were exchanged with the civilians who actually noticed and paid attention to her. small talk was one of Bashira's favourite things to do and the kids that Kumo had were so curious and actually liked her stories that she made up.
Waving goodbye to the flower shopkeeper had her realize she didn't know what to do now. Sure, she could go home but her father was probably stalking the village looking for any sign of laziness. That meant she had to be on her toes but she also remembered he had brushed her off the previous evening. Something about he didn't want to be bothered with a brat like her. It was nothing new coming from the once proud man who some said struck fear just by looking at them. In fact the man was now so drunk all the time that she knew he barely knew the date or the simplest of things.
Abandonment did that to him. He had her mother wrapped around his little finger and then she was gone. Her mother was never the material type so why did he think she'd stay? She looked up at the sky. A silver lining. she knew the phrase well but did it apply to her? The dark storm clouds surrounding her very existence was suffocating her. Was there a way to push past them and make her life shine as brightly as the spark of hope she held deep inside.
Something caught her attention as it floated on the breeze. She watched as it gracefully fell into her outstretched hand. It was just a petal, the species of flower unknown. Something awoke within her. She took out a book she was reading and gently placed it with her bookmark. She looked back at the sky and decided then and there, that she'd be that petal no that flower that could float or dance among the elements, fire was going to be hard to dance with but she could find ways to dodge it.
Training. She needed to find someone who could help her, maybe not just one person. She had her Hyuga heritage and her father refused to help her. Then there was Suiton, her mothers beloved affinity, that needed a calm and balanced approach. She had her work cut out for her but that was the thing. She was a student of life and she was always going to keep learning. Finding those who had mastered what she had inherited was vital. Bashira now knew her route and it would be one hell of a journey.
A memory flickers in her mind as she sat on the bench. Lavender eyes cast up on the sky as she pondered the options she had laid out before her. Kept from her family because they didn’t want her to be better than she was. A sudden anxiety of what would happen when she set out on her quest turned over in her mind. She sat there arms to her sides as the light breeze caressed her cheeks. She had put her hair up and now she realized it was a mistake.
That made the task of putting her hair down simple. A quick removal of her ponytail holder and her ears and face had protection from the bitter cold. A side effect of her genetic makeup since her mother had often been sick as a child. Kumo could get cold if you weren’t used to it and being from Kiri, her mother was always at odds with the weather. It made sense to her that she would return to her homeland.
Her mother wasn’t well, she had known this. Too many pregnancies back to back had sent her mother into the state she had tried so hard to break away from. If her mother was still alive then she’d be where no one knew her. She considered if her mother had become a wanderer who didn’t want to be found. Or was she that legendary missing Nin that she had heard about?
Each option was as bad as the other in terms of continuing to abandon and abuse her family. She thought about every complaint her mother had ever had. No, her mother wanted to destroy people and not create life. It was possible that her mother had done something to help her gain some control over her immune disorder. Being one with ice as well as water could help but was it enough?
She had no way of knowing but she was far from meeting up with her mother. Training had to be done and she was going to be counted on to look after the Genin along side her superiors. She had time to reflect for now.
She continued looking up at the sky as she got her thoughts in check. They were known to overwhelm her with irrational thoughts and fears. She knew what they were and she had help from her grandmother on how to keep them in check. She was lucky they were still alive. Even in retirement the previous Hyuga members were happy to help her.
Her father was now considered useless as the head of the family so her Grandfather took back his role back. It helped her train as well since both were willing and able to go to their limits to get her further in her journey. The mental health was important to her grandmother who taught her to mediate and take walks when needed. Like the one she was taking now.
It was helping her more and more with every passing second. Her grandfather also made sure she was eating properly. It was the very reason they were still around at their ages. They weren’t up there in years but her mother’s family were already long gone due to the unstable way they were raised.
They didn’t act like Ninja, they focused on eliminating their targets. There was a reason her side of the family were considered suicidal or unhinged. She had no idea if that extended to her other family members that were scattered to the wind. If so then it would be interesting to see that in effect.
Mental health it was a big part of every life. Life was harsh when you lived in the world of fighting and death. It made sense that some would be prone to revenge and the case for the other side of the coin.
Reflecting on this made her feel better about herself. She had control over her life even if she didn’t feel it. Her eyes moved across the sky. She was checking on the weather since she knew like emotional issues, the weather was unpredictable. She saw clouds but they were harmless. Kumo was known for its cloudy days. She liked them as much as the rain when it fell.
She played with her hair as she thought about her plan. She wanted to find someone to train her to control her fear of fighting that was obvious. Training her Suiton and Byakugan was also there. Those three things were what she was aiming for. Maybe she could look into medical ninjutsu and Ice release.
She didn’t see herself being adept at those at her current age. It would be better to work on it down the road and get some training as a medical Nin. She could see herself being a Medical Nin as well as. Chunin. She closed her eyes in thought.
Visual info it helped her get clarification on how she could achieve this. She did know of experts in each field and finding the ones in Kumo would be easier. She smiled opening her eyes as she looked back up at the sky.
The clouds looked really pretty as she sat there taking it all in. She felt better as she was not liking being stuck in that negativity. Thunderclouds reminding her of her parents and what they had told her.
Blue skies were her grandparents presence and the truths they spoke about and how they did not lean into the negative thoughts. It made her wonder what soured her father.
A thought occurred to her as she realized something. Her grandmother had once spoken to her mother about it. A training accident that left him blind in his right eye.
Her father had been ten at the time but it was enough to awaken the darkness within. He started bullying his siblings and even injured his little sister who adored him.
That very sister still refused to talk to them. She last heard she had turned her back on the Ninja life and became a simple baker. Though that very sister had marked her mother when both tempers flared.
The triangle scar on her right cheek was one way of identifying her mother. Her previous thoughts came back.
She scanned her memory for any information on that Missing Nin she had been thinking about. Did she have that scar? She couldn’t remember since she was rarely seen.
She put her hands together as she looked at her gloves. Her circulation was not the best at times so the gloves her grandmother made for her came in handy.
She wondered how much of her genetics could be blamed for everything. She knew her parents had never been stable and that was on them.
They were stubborn, narcissistic and void of empathy and emotions. She shivered as she sat with it. She had tried to change things.
Now she knew she couldn’t and she wouldn’t subject herself to this any longer. She was responsible for her parents.
Only one person could control their life and both had chosen their paths. She was choosing her own and she had no regrets in letting them self destruct.
She wasn’t them and they weren’t her. That was what her Grandmother had told her over and over. She once said smiling that everyone had a choice of what they became.
She smiled at this since she had always thought she never had a choice. Her grandparents had been active up until a couple years ago when they had to retire.
Both had known they had a duty to their grandchildren but only Bashira listened. Well she wasn’t sure if the others had ignored them. They were hard to read sometimes.
She squinted as she spotted a lone rain cloud out of the corner of her eyes. Interesting. She observed it. It wasn’t big enough to cause a storm.
But it could turn into something if it was strong enough. Again she wondered if she was exactly like this cloud. That thought made sense to her.
She didn’t know her own capabilities. It made her wonder what she could do. She looked at the cloud again and she felt at ease watching it.
She had no idea why it soothed her so much. She had always liked clouds. It had nothing to do with her environment but she knew people would think that.
She began braiding her hair and put it in double braids. It was simple to keep them there. She needed to keep her hair away from her face.
